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OUR JESUS CONNECTION
According to Jimmy Evans human beings have four basic
needs: acceptance, identity, security and purpose.
We are supposed to come to the Lord so He can meet these needs, but unfortunately we often look to people to meet them.
When they fail to do so, as inevitably happens, we are disappointed, hurt and angry. We will even give up on a relationship because the other person failed to meet one of our basic needs.
This can happen in any relationship, but the danger of it happening in marriage is very real.
We want our spouse to accept us, warts and all.
We tend to find our identity in our spouse, or even in our children. We 'become' the roll we play in someone's life - mother or father to the children; wife to my husband or husband to my wife - and when for some reason that roll gets taken away from us, we realise we don't know who we are anymore.
A wife will look to her husband for security.
And we often also try and find our purpose in life in our spouse and children. Again we can find our purpose in being a wife or mother, or a father and husband. And again we risk losing our purpose when our children are grown or our spouse dies or leaves us.
So how do we combat this?
We come to the Lord and allow Him to meet our needs.
We make our relationship with Him the most important issue in our marriage.
We believe that we have been accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6).
We read the Word to find out who we are in Christ - this is our real identity.
We hide in the secret place of the Most High, believing we are safe with Him (Psalm 91).
We look to Him to lead and guide us every day so we can be in His plan and will for our lives, for when we are doing His will we are also accomplishing our purpose in life.
Are you looking to your spouse or children, your work, money or other relationships to find acceptance, identity, security and purpose?
Remember that people will fail. Jobs and money can be lost. Relationships can end.
Come to the Lord and allow Him to meet your need for acceptance, identity, security and purpose.
Make your relationship with the Lord your most important issue in life.
He will never disappoint you!